I am 32 years of age, and I must admit, this dating game and market is brutal. I am at the age where you almost have to get what is out there with the least flaws.
Here is the obstacle I face, a lot of women I choose to date, either have a lot of kids with different partners, or something is emotionally damaged about them. A good ratio of women in the dating market that I come across usually don’t have any fathers growing up. One in particular told me that their father rejected them as his child. So their biggest insecurity growing up was rejection. They came around the block attracting men who weren’t available for them. As soon as she felt security with one particular guy, he disown her and she has been damaged ever since. No matter what me and others like me have given her which is trust stability and consistency, she tends to shy away from that because she doesn’t trust her self through us. Why is that? well one reason can be is the environment she has been conditioned too. Number two she doesn’t relate her self through us. Number 3, she goes for what she is comfortable with, which is men not being available for her, and consistently letting her down. She is conditioned to be the provider in her household and also the only voice. The men she give her heart too or vagina too, are men that she can nurture and usually come around her for late night hook ups. This is usually a physical attraction but not a complete attraction. I asked her one day, the men you attract usually lie to you and not available to you, but how come I am available to you and treat you like you are valued, I get treated like they do to you? She said well, you have no kids, but so don’t they. You are smart and have a future, oh okay just tell me already you don’t find me fully attractive in a companion way and that you don’t see us in a romantic level due too you don’t relate yourself through me. She tried to be as diplomatic as possible, so instead of keep showing her I ll be there for her, I start conditioning the relationship into a platonic one. We became workout partners and were getting close as friends. But one day, she tend to get distraught that all I hit her up for is us too work out. I told her we both agree that we both need to get fit and obtain our goals. She said yeah but you don’t ask me how I am doing anymore, all you care about is us getting our workout on. I said, well when I used to do that, you seem not to care about the little things that I used to do for you. See how you were doing, buy you a gift that was an emotional thought just to show you I tend to care and listen to you. Take you out, make sure you dress your best and treat you like a woman who deserves chivalry instead of a woman that is only good for a netflix outing at midnight sipping on some liquor and whoop there it is we get to doing the damn thing!
I eventually tell her, I found someone else, instead of congratulating me, she saids oh I don’t like her for you. I asked her why? she gives me every excuse about she looks sneaky and talks about how she dress and what kind of weave she had on. If I didn’t know any better, my workout partner might have a little crush on me but doesn’t realize it. Or maybe, I was the safe guy that she might finally commit too. Either way I wasn’t going to take my chances. The more I was dating the other woman, the less my work out partner wanted to work out with me. I took this as a sign she had feelings for me but didn’t know how to express them.
So one day, I asked her have you ever thought about us ever having sex? She said a few times, but the time you denied me coming over 2 years ago I ruled that out. I said oh! Well I had always thought about me doing something with you. But I was blunt with her with no filter. I said hey, I know I have no chance in hell with you because you have children and you still emotionally scarred from your ex. But, I have always thought about us doing the damn thing. She giggled and said Boy you are so silly. I said but for real, this must go down. She smiled and was flattered. I threw up some money, she thought I was joking, and I said if you do this, you can have this. She hesitated at first, but the money looked good to her and she took it. She did the damn thing, and I must admit it was definitely worth the wait. She was sensual, passionate, reactive and very attentive. Her walls were intact, very moist and hot. Her garfield was very heavenly and I enjoyed every moment of it. We started to have a sexual relationship. It was good while it last. But the problem now is, she got sick of her treating her just as a sex buddy and a workout buddy. So I asked her, you want me to be your man? she said no, I don’t know what I want to be honest honey. I got so confused with her. One day, she told me she would like for her son to do my yard by raking my leaves since i had a opening for paying anyone professional to do my yard for $100 dollars. I told her no, if your son really wants to do it, he should be the one coming to me about it. His mother shouldn’t enable her 17 year old son on a task he never intended on doing. Then she called me the reason why these young kids have no role models and I am part of the problem. But she tend to forget I was the one that hooked her up with a job 2 weeks prior to this. I got offended, then 2 weeks later I said hello to her and she acted none inspired to communicate with me. So I told her I ll just delete you out of my life cause I see this going no where. She said okay.
Why is she okay with this? well I will tell you why, she is used to men leaving out of her life. It all started with her father, no male guidance to show what a male is supposed to do in a house hold. She is 37 years of age, insecure and still doesn’t feel fully wanted. It is nothing I can do to break someone’s mentality that is drawn like that. You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to rescue themselves. She has an internal conflict. It all starts with her father. To this day she claims he still disowns her.
Me personally, I am fortunate to be in a 2 parent house hold and my parents to this day are still married. They separated for 2 years and gotten back together. The dating market is full of emotionally scarred or toxic attitude women or the women with a lot of kids and looking for a man to get them out of their hell hole. Even if I attempted to go younger from 23-26, usually around that age, where I am at life and where they are is 2 different paths and usually the odds are no good.
I will do another blog on why I am single, but this is part 1 of Aristotle’s dating chronicles Bloggically Speaking!